Dear Telugu Thalli (and Bharat Mata)

I would say “Happy New Year” to you, but as with last year, there’s not much to be happy about.

Your beloved state of Andhra Pradesh was finally bifurcated. Drunk with power, one set of politicians openly allies with the oppressors of their own people, while another continues the same petty mockery that made the split possible in the first place. While one is now on track to changing its culture and openly spiting you, another continues to forget culture (and farmers), focusing purely on “debelopmunt” and cheap cinema.

Things aren’t much better at the national level. The corrupt continue to wander freely and keep their special privileges. Efforts to restore a culturally relevant education continue to be stymied by un-strategic simpletons and loudmouth luddites. The economy remains shaky, inflation high, and joblessness set to grow. Worst of all, anti-nationals are openly crying for foreign intervention, even as their glaring hypocrisy is apparent to all. Alas, due to phillim induced foolery, your children are still unable to properly point out the difference between “forcible”, “induced”, and “voluntary”–the result of missing the woods for the trees. What’s the more, the utter inability to articulate how groups are flouting Indian laws and vasts sums of money are flowing from outside the country to change its demography are the price of cultural degradation.

Undoubtedly a bright patch in what was otherwise a terrible year for the Telugus was the landslide election of the NDA which unceremoniously tossed out the Indian [anti-]National Congress from both the state(s) and center. While it is indeed a relief (and a restoration of dignity) to have a non-colonial administration of the Union, citizens must nevertheless continue to be aware of the goings on in government.

Swacch Bharat was also great initiative, that only a culture of public cleanliness can continue. Nevertheless, it should be clear to all discerning persons that there is trouble ahead. The last ten years of gutting the armed forces continue to leave India’s borders in peril.

Razakars began openly screeching while spreading their tentacles . While their hilariously self-proclaimed “liberal” supporters continue to use every trick in the book to justify their hate speeches, their agenda is as clear as day. They continue to increase their strength by hook or by crook , all while your clueless children continue to bicker over caste, community, or “sin-ima suparshtar”.

It was also a year of losing many cultural gems such as ANR, Bapu, U.Srinivas, Chakri, and Nedunuri, Krishnamurthy gaaru.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t explain why Telugus were still addled by low-brow phillims rather than inspired by high culture cinema (we hope this will change this  year with Rudrama devi and Baahubali).

As usual, the morons that lead your cause waited for the last minute–or really after all was said and done–to protest an idiotic movie based on cheap laughs that openly ridiculed your culture. And this is the problem with our over-emotional buffoons. When emotion and outrage drive your action rather than sound strategic thinking and careful, advance preparation, you will be caught on the defensive…every…freaking…time…

Our resident samskruthi senapatis were caught napping on their holiday from missing the woods for the trees and egotistical infighting  (nice job, guys–now back to your regularly scheduled program of recounting the glories of your gotra and anointing yourselves “Acharya” or “Agriculturally dominant”). Next time, instead of waiting until our mindless masses make a mega-hit for traitors, while their next door neighbor enemies laugh at them, they should start their non-violent campaigns in advance.

This is the Problem when you’re emotion-based, infighting, argumentative idiots. Nothing productive ever gets done, until it’s too late…

What’s more are the dummies and cine-addled morons that had the nerve to say “The movie actually made me think, yaar. It was really thought-provoking“. If you think a movie by a noted hypocrite and his shameless, self-loathing cronies is “thought-provoking”, then you need to stop considering the scanning of cricket scores and the backside of cereal boxes as”reading”, and open a book. Your moronic children, and their even dumber parents who protested the movie but saw it any way, think they’re “hip, cool, and informed”, when in actuality, they’re the opposite of all three. Dumbest of all are the NIRs (Non Indian Residents) who tried to pretend as though all religious and cultural traditions were being mocked, when the movie producers themselves explicitly announced otherwise.

Culturally confused, usefully rootless idiots who specialize in wiki-research over genuine study continue to tout their double standards and willfully shut their eyes to open injustice. Such Non Indian Residents must be called out for their despicable antipathy to their own culture–and laughed at. Which leads us to our next point.

Cheap, back alley humor continues to substitute for genuine wit. This is not just a potshot at PK or Bollywood in general, but rather, an ever-growing reality even in Tollywood. This too is a reflection of loss of culture. While almost everyone likes a good belly laugh and low-brow limerick once in a while, the cultured society is one than prides itself in sophisticated humor and well-constructed dialogue and satire. If toilet humor is your cup of tea, well then, no wonder you watch movies like this. The Film Industry is just that–an industry. Any business will supply what is demanded. Stop watching stupidity and they’ll make something serious.

But while the root of the problem is cultural, the severest symptoms are economic and political. Farmers in both states continue to suffer–with all of India at risk for new, generational problems. Rural and small town employment solutions must be explored post haste as our children continue to be parceled off to the Gulf for the terrible trade.

CM’s of both Telangana and AP are competing in appeasement politics. Infighting continues, not just in Gult-land, but India in general. And this at a time when rumblings at (both) borders presage difficult days ahead.

Last but not least, 2015 is not our New Year (We are actually in the year 5016 (Kali Yuga reckoning or 2071  Vikrama era if you prefer (or 1936 Saka era per the Indian Govt.)). While I certainly have no problem saying it (or writing a blog post on it) or having others say it or celebrate it , I would advise against people saying “Nutana Samvatsara Subhakankshalu” or “Naya Samvatsar Shubhkamnayein” because these are subtle ways of altering the importance of our own traditional Indic New Year’s celebrated in the authentic Indic month of Chaitra  (March/April). This is one of those occasions when sticking to the original English is better than translating.

In any event, since all your bangarus and bujammas failed to implement their resolutions properly this past year, we’ll assign the same resolutions again to them this year. Hopefully with more background explanation, they will learn this time around.

 

1. Pay attention

“Don’t judge your leaders based on rhetoric or fashionability, but action. What have they done? Question everything.”

2. Stop being petty, selfish, self-absorbed, and self-important.

Idiots who win today by losing tomorrow are not smart–they’re stupid. Stop calling these morons, wily. They are just selfish individuals who don’t care about anything other than their own petty ambition, and are prepared to sell out the future to achieve it today.  What will they do when their sons or grandsons are oppressed by the very forces they “allied” with…

3. Quit being so damn naive

A simple compliment from a foreigner or even anti-national is enough to melt the hearts of our sentiment fueled populace. Just as they say don’t judge a book by its cover, don’t judge a man by his words…judge him by his actions.

Be aware of intentions, and ask yourself what his benefit may be by ingratiating himself with you.

4. Make time to learn and understand our Dharmic culture

Culture is important not just so you can take pride in your art and music, but also so that you can be properly disciplined to tackle the challenges of life. Dharma exists so that we can understand how to deal with these challenges–not so you can boast about what mantra you know.

So take the time to learn it, not so that you can be a pretentious fop, but so that you can gain from the wisdom it has to teach. And then, make time to teach others.

5. Be respectful

Our ego-driven gyaanis are quick to dismiss others, quick to attack others, and quick to deride others. Give them a dose of the same, and they self-destruct into a flurry of obscenity.  As such, it is important to recognize the need to not only respect yourself, but also respect others. This starts by minding your manners.

6. Mind your manners

The single best way to avoid infighting is to mind one’s manners. If you can’t say anything good, sometimes, it’s better to say nothing at all. Learn Maryada and Saujanya, which are both based on Acara and Dharma.

There is also a time to disagree. When that is the case, do so without being disagreeable. If  you find yourself losing the argument, don’t rely on abuse–do your homework better next time. Also remember, some times it’s not just about the argument you make, but how you make it.

7. Stop using fairness creams

Self-respect is the keystone to a strong society. If our own people try to look like others (who have their own perceived flaws), who will respect them? Be yourself, and be comfortable in your own skin.

8. Be a good global citizen by being a good local citizen

We all have duties at every level of society, not just one. This is because if you are responsible for everything, you are responsible for nothing. Just as you help your parents, children, and spouse before your neighbors, so too do you help your country before your continent and planet.

9. Learn when to shut up

Our twitter gyaanis live for their salons. What would twitter be without their talk shops? Each gyaani is a salesman (or saleswoman) promoting his or her own 1-dimensional solution…or just passing the hours wringing hands over the challenges ahead…while doing nothing about it. As we’ve said repeatedly on this site, it is important to learn “the value of shut up”. Debate for its own sake may give you great joy, but in the end, it accomplishes nothing productive.

Don’t throw your opinions at people and force fit the facts to defend; use facts as the basis for your opinions. And if new facts come your way, learn to accept them, and if necessary change your opinion. Don’t just listen to reply, listen to learn.

And above all, recognize that talkers are not doers. Talk to learn, and then apply your knowledge to constructive causes. Don’t just pontificate on yet another opinion blog, find an area of expertise that you have, and use it to educate others or to start an institution.

99% will not consider any of these New Year’s Resolutions let alone achieve them, but if at least 1% of them do, then this letter was worth its while.

Signed,

An Anxious Andhra Bidda (and Bharatiya Beta)